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“What does media-mentorship look like?!?!?” This question has not left me alone for almost 3 months now! I was first introduced to the term in October during a continuing education course for Speech-Language Pathology. Yet again, what I learned that day and in other courses to follow impacted not only my profession and people outside my home, but it provided me with awareness and tools personally as well as for my own children! This coming year, I will be doing more research on this topic because it interested me so much and I will be sharing it through PLAtime information sources like this while also trying to incorporate the philosophies into the actual connections. This is just a brief overview of some of the concepts.
First of all, as a parent and an SLP, I had to authentically submit to media mentors- those who have studied the effects of media on the brain. Submission is hard but so good! Coupling submission to biblical mentors as well as professional mentors makes for great practice in softening my heart to listen and learn. Together, their definitions of content, time, and benefits give me more proficiency in using media and devices to filter my own exposures and pour more good into the world- the physical world as well as the media world. These mentors showed me things that revealed not only how much I was on my phone but also residual effects of distractedness that kept my mind preoccupied as well as the powerful influence of those little chiming notifications to my stress level. How much more peace will I experience if I turn off all app notifications? Media mentors are not only neuroscience professionals and Scripture writers. Mentorship in any other area can play a role in guiding principles for media use- this is where my husband and older moms in my own life play a crucial role. What tips can they share?
Secondly, this learning drastically increased my awareness of the following: Being a media mentor is not just an optional role for parents. We are already mentoring our kids either intentionally or unintentionally in media use; we just may not comprehend what we are modeling for them in their relationship to media because it is so new to us. It is great to listen to the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines, but even their guidelines have changed in recent years. Because media is so new and growing so rapidly, it is difficult for “experts” to really know outcomes as of now. What could it look like for my children 20 years from now if they watch me set my pride ( and “adult” title) aside and use the screen time monitors from my phone on myself and model that?
Third, there is more to assessing media than just the rating and the time limit. A few resources cite the 4 Cs: Content, Context, Caregiver, and Child. Content is not just the story and whether or not it includes violence, language or adult issues. For our brains, it also encompasses light stimuli, sound effects, how many scene changes are involved in each minute, and corner pop-ups along with other things. When you see a child engrossed in a show, it may not be because of interest, it may be because their are so many “change” stimulations, their brain won’t let their eyes look away. If you overlay Scripture with this, who is holding captive the mind of this child? Context involves who the child is with when interacting with media, where they are (car ride, in bedroom), and what time of day it is. Caregiver aspects encompass the current physical and emotional condition of the caregiver, how fluent they are in media protections on devices, and even their own views of tech and media. The final “C” is specific to the individual child . Can that child handle that specific media based on their development not just their age, as well as social-emotional processing not just academic level? What could it look for either my teenager (or my ailing parent) to learn how to assess screen stimuli that raises their blood pressure and the chemical releases of their body before they decide whether or not to purchase a game or watch that broadcast?
Lastly, media has a powerful impact on the relationship and attachment between parents and children ( or we can say "caregivers” and “those for whom they provide care”). Yes, it is obvious the iPad affects the child watching it. It is less obvious but more profound how a parent looking at a phone affects the child asking a question. For the health of relationships, it is crucial that we step back and observe ourselves. My phone was affecting my overall time with my child, but it also often delayed my response times to my child, the quality of my listening, and my facial expressions. I have regularly cautioned caregivers of the “preoccupied face” in regards to mirror neurons when waking those in their care or picking them up from appointments, etc, however, I was unaware of the “preoccupation” I wore and my children mirrored throughout the day because of banner notifications from some of my apps. What is the difference between my teen and I setting an alarm to check the online grade book together being ready to discuss it (over “brownies and carrots” - thank you Dannah Gresh) rather than letting it notify and interrupt our relationship and our other activities all throughout the day?
In conclusion, I will be discussing each of these in coming months, but I ask you to join me in becoming extremely familiar with how your device works and how you interact with it. Where can you turn off notifications? Where can you set timers? Where can you self-monitor? These are not signs of weakness, they are signs of strength and mastery of a tool rather than being mastered by it!
May we authentically PLA well!
**References for this information included Hart and Risley, 1995; Birkin 2017; National Institute of Health, 2017; Common Sense Media, 2017; healthy children.org time calculator and media plans; Richart and Smith,2011); Golen, R.P.& Ventura, 2015; Gaylor & Evans, 2001, Allison D. Peak: Ellis and Simmons, 2014; Nielson, 2017; Lisa Guernsey TED talks; Chip Donahue on media mentorship
